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WELCOME!
I know way too many people here right now
That I didnt know last year, who the fuck are yall?
I swear it feels like the last few nights
We been everywhere and back
But I just cant remember it all
What am I doin? What am I doin?
Oh, yeah, thats right, Im doin me
Im doin me
Im livin life right now, mayne
And this what Ima do til its over
Til its over
But its far from over..
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date/time Friday, September 18, 2009,Friday, September 18, 2009
why is love so complicated? why is it that you can't see it, or touch it but you can only feel it? our feelings are so messed up. why leave it up to just that? why am i still in love with him? why can't he just move on? it's better for him. i know it for a fact!
why is my mind turned off while my heart thinks for it?
i try not to, but when i remember the past and the things that went wrong it's hard not to blame myself for why we weren't strong. why it was so hard to hold on. here's the thing; he fell in love with me because i was exactly what he wanted. exactly what he needed. then i went & changed into something completely opposite. something totally different then what everyone expected. & again, he feel in love. not with me, but someone else. happiness was lost. trust slowly faded. the magic disappeared. i tried to change everything back. i tried to be the real me. it was already to late. he was gone like the wind. he moved on. he started a new chapter without me being involved. without my name being mentioned. but weirdly, i knew he still loved me & it was true. he does. but things just can't be what they were before. he doesn't fully trust me and i understand why. i made the worst mistakes ever.! and even though i've changed back to what i was before, my past mistakes still linger in his mind. they brake his heart and make him wonder. 'forgive & forget' - a common subterfuge used. but it's hard, i know. to forgive? maybe. to forget? never. i guess it's better this way. now we're just friends. not exactly what i want but it's what we need. i deny my feelings to him so that he can move on. i don't wanna hurt him again. i love him too much to do that to him. 'every action has a consequence.' - this definitely isn't a dream.
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